How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

We're all gonna die one day, whether we like it or not. And when we do, our relatives and family members will of course bury us, and most probably will write an obituary for us. Or share something about us during our funeral service. The obituary below went viral a couple of weeks ago for its contents:

Kathleen Dehmlow (Schunk) was born on March 19, 1938 to Joseph and Gertrude Schunk of Wabasso.

She married Dennis Dehmlow at St. Anne's in Wabasso in 1957 and had two children Gina and Jay.

In 1962 she became pregnant by her husband's brother Lyle Dehmlow and moved to California.

She abandoned her children, Gina and Jay who were then raised by her parents in Clements, Mr. and Mrs.Joseph Schunk.

She passed away in May 31, 2018 in Springfield and will now face judgement. She will not be missed by Gina and Jay, and they understand that this place is a better world without her.


What a sad obituary. Of course the deceased will not be able to read it ever, but how tragic and how sad that her very own children have to say that the world is a better place without her. I am not passing judgement on anyone, not on the mother who abandoned her children, and not on the children who were abandoned and rejected by their very own mother.

How do you want to be remembered then? Like I said in my opening statement, we're all gonna die one day, whether we like it or not. And when your time to die comes, what will your family say about your life? How are we impacting the lives of others while we are here on earth?

When my dear mom passed away, I was the one who shared about her life. And I shared about her faith. I remember hearing her praying at night, crying out to the Lord for each one of us. I remember her saying one time that there was no rice at home to cook for dinner, but that she would just wait because the Lord will 'send' someone with rice to us. True enough, one of our neighbors came to barter rice for some of her vegetables in the backyard! So we had rice after that. Time and time again I saw that her faith in God never faltered, trusting Him with all that she had. 

I still share that story to my nephews and nieces who were too young when she passed away because they could not remember her and wanted to hear something about her. I would also share stories of how she took care of them, spoiling them rotten since she's their 'mommy'.

As for my papa, I remember him getting up in the middle of the night to roast some rice for me and boil it like 'coffee' because I had an upset tummy. I remember him carrying me up the stairs when I was pretending to be asleep so that I wouldn't have to wake up by going up the stairs. I remember, one day, mama was upset at him for doing something and she was nagging, and, instead of getting angry at her, he talked softly, trying to appease an angry woman. When the words did not work, he got a hold of my mama's hand and started twirling her around in a waltz until my mom laughed and she was no longer upset.

My parents disciplined us as well. My brothers were spanked a number of times for disobeying. But our parents were also very warm and loving people. I have a cousin, who, upon graduating from grade school, moved to Manila ( we were then living in the province) with her siblings and live with her aunt to attend school. Every summer holiday, they would come home. And every time my papa would see her, he would always greet her warmly, giving her a hug and kissing her, exclaiming that she is home for vacation.

One day, she told me that she likes my papa very much and I asked her why. She said my papa was very affectionate towards her, and she never experienced that from either of her parents. My heart swelled with pride of course, upon hearing that from her. 

Another time, I was already in high school, and I was studying in the city and staying at a boarding house. One Monday we visited my town, and my board mates decided to surprise mama. They asked me to hide and and they asked her where I was. She told them I was in the city, but they told her I was not there. She then told them that I would not do anything that will jeopardize my safety or my future. I then came out of hiding and I realized that my mama trusted me to make my own judgement and do things independently. Wow.

I have so many stories to tell, but these examples tell that even if we were poor, my parents raised us the very best way they could, imparting the wisdom they had, giving advise and guidance when needed, disciplining us when necessary, and we are what we are today because of them.

How about you? Again I ask, how would you like to be remembered? Would your children remember you fondly, telling stories like I do? Or will you 'turn in your grave' whenever they remember you because whenever they do, they'd say bad things about you? What about other members of your family? Siblings? Friends? neighbors? The way we treat them today is how they will remember us when we are gone.

So, if you think that somehow you will not be missed when you are gone, you still have a chance to change things. Spend time with your family. Play with your children. Cook something delicious for your spouse, or maybe go out on a date. Make life special, make the most of life count. Tell your family members you love them, because you never know if it's the last time you're gonna be able to say that. Now is the time to think about the impact your life is having on others.

Another important thing, aside from what our loved ones will say about us, is what will God have to say about us when we face Him. Would we be able to face Him with joy, knowing that we would stay in His presence forever. Or will we stand condemned, according to what we did here on earth?

Whatever we do here on earth determines our final resting place in eternity. It's one of pure joy and the other one is pure agony. The way to pure joy is to make sure that our sins are forgiven and that we have trusted Jesus Christ as our Saviour so that we will spend eternity in the presence of God. The choice is ours to make.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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